20 Rules To Surviving In A Horror Movie:
1) Always fall over nothing while you run.
2) Always stop running to look back to make sure you’re still being chased.
3) Always keep pulling on a locked door to make sure its actually locked.
4) When trying to shoot the bad guy always close your eyes and shoot randomly.
5) When the bad guy is coming towards you don’t make any attempt to get away, just look scared.
6) Always have a cheesy catch phrase before killing someone.
7) When it appears that you have killed the bad guy, never check to see if it’s really dead.
8) Always search the basement when the power goes out.
9) Always run upstairs where you have no way of escaping.
10) Always hide in the closet or under the bed because no one is smart is smart enough to look there first.
11) Always back out of the room because the killer is never going to be behind you.
12) Always make sure your car is never going to start when you need to get away.
13) Always scream “NO” so the killer knows you don’t want to die.
14) Always turn onto the abandoned dirt road.
15) Never forget to take your high-heels off while your being chased.
16) Always take a bath after being chased by a killer.
17) Always have sex in an abandoned house.
18) Always tell your kids to stay in one spot.
19) Always turn around when you see something in the mirror.
20) Always waste time throwing pointless shit at the bad guy.
Follow these and you’ll never actually die :D (noted sarcasm?)
